Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories On a brutally hot day I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. “Who’s winning?” I shouted. “I am,” stated one child. “Me,” said any other. “No, me,” yelled the  Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, “Their mother is.” —Tom Lappas (If you need greater laughs, test out those hilarious examples or irony.)

 

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Funny dad: The world’s most sentimental dad

The family turned into viewing old slides and one flashed at the screen that stuck absolutely everyone’s attention. My father, sporting his favorite golf blouse, was keeping me on the gentle age of three weeks. The look on his face advised all. “There’s my prize possession,” my father stated. Touched, I smiled at him as he persevered, “I marvel anything happened to that golf blouse?” —Jeanne Graves

Funny dad: The international’s maximum perfectionist dad

In the frozen-ingredients branch of our local grocery save, I saw a man shopping together with his son. As I walked through, he checked something off his list, then whispered conspiratorially to his son, “You realize, if we definitely mess this up, we’ll in no way must do it again.” —Janet Campbell

Funny dad: The international’s maximum smooth-speakme dad

After an explosive argument with our mom, my little brother pasted a signal analyzing “I hate Mom” at the door to his room, and slammed it close. My dad, a faculty psychologist, came home to this standoff. “I’ll contend with it,” he said, then went into my brother’s room. Minutes later, Dad came out. “He doesn’t hate you anymore,” he reassured. Sure sufficient, my brother had crossed out “Mom” on his sign. It now study “I hate Dad.” —Michele Pecoraro

Funny dad: The world’s maximum heroic dad

Our own family sheltered inside the basement after hearing a twister caution. My husband informed all of us to live put at the same time as he got his mobile phone from the automobile, in case the lines went useless. He didn’t return for the longest time, so I went searching out him. I became upstairs calling his call, when I heard our smartphone machine click on. “Hi,” a voice stated. “This is Dad. I’m locked out of the residence.” —Laure Jorges

Funny dad: The global’s maximum thorough dad

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

 

When my dad ran out of fuel, he known as mom to pick out him up in her car. They went to a gasoline station, filled a can, and lower back to his automobile. After a couple of minutes, he were given into her car again. “We need to head back to the fuel station,” he said. “One gallon wasn’t sufficient?” mother asked. “It might had been if I’d positioned it in the proper vehicle.” —Kent T. Critchlow

 

Funny dad: The world’s maximum samurai dad

The black lacquer stand retaining his prized samurai swords turned into dusty, so my husband left our cleansing female a be aware, analyzing, “Check out my swords.” That nighttime, he located the stand simply as dirty as earlier than but with this appended to his note: “Nice swords.” —Eleonore Bode-Lemming

Funny dad: The world’s maximum practical dad

 

Dad is old-faculty: he continues all his money in the underclothes drawer. One day I bought him a personal secure inside the shape of a paint can with a false backside, so he ought to maintain his cash within the workshop as a substitute. Later I asked Mom if he became using it. “Oh sure—he put his cash in it the equal day,” she stated. “No burglar would suppose to appearance on the paintings shelf!” I gloated. “they gained’t need to,” mother responded. “He maintains the paint can in his underwear drawer.” —Judee Mulvey

Funny dad: The global’s hardest dad

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

 

I was on my manner out of the house to satisfy with a cantankerous purchaser, and I changed into dreading it. The look on my face need to have given me away because my 4-year-old daughter requested what became incorrect. “I’m going to satisfy a woman who usually yells at Daddy,” I told her. “Oh,” she stated. “Say hello to Mom.” —Bart Key

Funny dad: The global’s maximum amenable dad

After my 2d yr in med faculty, I moved lower back domestic. One night time I turned into up late reading for my clinical exam. Because my father woke me every morning at seven, I positioned a notice on my door: “DO NOT DISTURB. Studying till three a.M.” Dad, a health practitioner himself, showed no sympathy. He left a note attached to mine: “The lodge control hopes you’re playing your live. We’d like to remind you that checkout was at noon—approximately six years ago.” —Varghese Abraham

Funny dad: The international’s maximum expertise dad

“Does every body on this room want to be dismissed from jury obligation?” my father, a choose, requested the potential jurors. A anxious younger guy stood up. “I’d like to be brushed off,” he said. “My wife is ready to conceive.” Slightly taken aback, Dad replied, “I accept as true with, sir, you suggest ‘supply.’ But either manner, I agree. You should be there.” The man become brushed off. —Beth Duncan

Funny dad: The global’s excellent rebound dad

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

 

Our 17-yr-old daughter turned into going via bus to a football match in Delaware and she or he’d packed more luggage than Noah. As I became hauling it out of the trunk I remarked, “Oh, Erica, we forgot the kitchen sink!” Another father immediately chimed in: “It’s okay. Ashley has one—they could proportion.” —Andrew W. Dencs

Funny dad: The world’s most technical dad

 

Before I took the old circle of relatives car to college, my father loaded the trunk with tender-drink bottles packed with oil, coolant, and transmission fluid. Sure sufficient, my vehicle overheated. Scolding myself for no longer being attentive to my father’s commands, I checked out the engine and noticed how well he knew me. The oil cap become categorized Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant box, Diet Pepsi. I completed the experience adequately. —Charlotte G. Alexander

Funny dad: The world’s proudest dad

On my parents’ fiftieth anniversary, I remarked to my father that he and Mom never appeared to fight. “We battled,” he stated, “but it in no way amounted to much. After some time one folks continually realized that I was incorrect.” —Gary Markman

 

Funny dad The international’s maximum capable dad

My father became absolutely lost inside the kitchen and by no means ate except someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother become unwell, however, he volunteered to visit the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a cautiously numbered listing of 7 gadgets. Dad again shortly, very pleased with himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery baggage. He had one bag of sugar, dozen eggs, 3 hams, four containers of detergent, 5 bins of crackers, six eggplants, and 7 inexperienced peppers. —Joan Flood

Funny dad: The international’s most giving dad

Father’s Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny Stories

 

 

My mother had always wanted to learn how to play the piano, so Dad offered her one for her birthday. A few weeks later, I called and asked how she was doing. “We returned the piano,” said Dad. “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet. I asked why. “Because,” he explained, “with a clarinet, she will’t sing alongside.” —Don Foster

Funny dad: The world’s most thankful dad

One year my dad become inside and out of the health center. Each time, his tireless neighbors stepped in—mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway, taking Mom to the hospital, choosing up prescriptions. After Dad recovered, mother desired to thank the associates through doing something they’d absolutely appreciate. Dad cautioned, “Tell them we’re shifting.” —Mark Reilly

Funny dad: The world’s most attentive dad

One night approximately 10 p.M. I responded the phone and heard, “Dad, we want to stay out overdue. Is that okay?” “Sure,” I spoke back, “as long as you called.” When I hung up, my wife asked who changed into at the phone. “One of the boys,” I replied. “I gave them permission to live out overdue.” “Not our boys,” she stated. “They’re both downstairs inside the basement.” —Lawrence M. Weisberg

 

Funny dad: The world’s first-class planning dad

Both of my parents paintings and lead annoying lives. So my father changed into certain to forget their wedding anniversary. Remembering on the ultimate minute, he sped to the desk bound store and breathlessly requested the clerk, “Where are the anniversary playing cards?” To his wonder he heard my mother name out, “Over here, Bill.” —Elizabeth Ransom

 

Funny dad: The world’s simplest dad

Dad’s satellite tv for pc dish died. When I walked into his residing room, I located him speaking at the phone with tech assist, the TV set pulled faraway from the wall and a mass of tangled wires spilling out in front of him. He regarded completely crushed. “Tell you what I’m going to do,” Dad said to the technician, “I’m going to dangle up now, go to university for a pair years, then call you again.” —Dana Marisca

Funny dad: The international’s most cautious dad

Once my dad, a gravedigger, became advised to prepare for a funeral. But on the day of the provider, he by accident dug up the wrong plot. Luckily for him, the deceased’s daughter was very understanding. “Poor Dad,” she lamented, “He continually complained he ought to by no means find a parking area.” —Emily Willmot

Funny dad: The world’s maximum romantic dad

Shortly earlier than our twenty fifth anniversary, my husband sent 25 lengthy-stemmed roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them sporting only a negligee. As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband. When he noticed me, he shouted, “Are the ones potato chips?!” —Sue Ater

 

Funny dad: The international’s most supportive dad

 

On the day I received my learner’s allow, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a massive grin, he hopped in in the back of the driving force’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front at the passenger’s side?” I asked. “Kirsten, I’ve been expecting this ever because you were a little female,” Dad answered. “Now it’s my flip to take a seat back right here and kick the seat.” —Kirsten Wiley

Funny dad: The world’s maximum smart dad

None of my grandsons proportion my corny humorousness. When the own family is ingesting lasagna, I say, “Lean over your plate, boys. You’ll get much less-on-ya.” I say to the ten-yr-vintage, “Don’t yell via the screen; you’ll pressure your voice.” And once I took every other grandson to the zoo, I requested, “Do you recognize why that snake’s not pressed towards the glass? He doesn’t need to be a windshield viper.” They’ll probable snigger later. —Homer Adams

 

Funny dad: The international’s most resilient dad

My husband changed into bending over to tie my 3-year-vintage’s shoes. I observed my son, Ben, observing my husband’s head. He gently touched the thinning spot of hair and asked in a concerned voice, “Daddy, you’ve got a hollow to your head. Does it harm?” After a pause, I heard my husband’s murmured respond: “Not physically.” —Laurie Gerhardstein

Funny dad: The world’s safest dad

No one is extra cautious than a primary-time discern. After our daughter was huge sufficient to ride at the returned of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I placed her within the seat, double-checked all of the equipment, wheeled the bike to the quit of the driveway, cautiously looked each approaches and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, kicked her right in the chin. —Zachary Gibbs

Funny dad: The world’s maximum squirrel-savvy dad

When a squirrel slipped into my residence, I panicked and known as my father. “How do you get a squirrel out of the basement?” I shrieked. Dad advised me to go away a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the basement to the outdoor. It worked—the squirrel ate his manner out of the residence. Unfortunately, he passed every other squirrel ingesting his manner in. —Corinne Stevens

Funny dad: The international’s most accepting dad

The day I knew my in-legal guidelines had sooner or later widespread me: As we pulled into their driveway, my father-in-law became at the cellphone. “Oh, I have to run,” he advised the character on the alternative end. “My daughter-in-law and her husband just arrived.” —Kathy Dierker

Father's Day Funny Stories

Father’s Day Funny

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